I will try my very best to write this story without being painfully repetitive, or outrageously mushy.
Before becoming engaged, Matt and I had been dating for just over five and a half years, and I know that I can speak for both of us in saying that we’d known from the start that we wanted to be together forever. I can’t recall when we first talked about marriage, but I’m pretty sure it was within our first year together. Our plan had always been that when we had both found the jobs that we wanted, and were able to afford a place to live together, and pay all of our bills, that that would be the time.
The last piece of that very difficult and confusing puzzle fell into place on August 24th 2010, when I got my teaching job. Matt and I were so excited to be doing what we loved, successfully making a home in our little apartment, paying bills, saving some money, and doing it all as a team. I have to admit, that after the initial shock and excitement of actually getting a job had (very slightly) worn off, I began considering the fact that Matt might actually propose to me. All of our initial goals had been reached, and the criteria had been met. We were two self-sufficient adults, very much in love, and not at all afraid of commitment. So, ever since September the thought of becoming engaged had been rattling around in my head. I tried to keep my eyes open for anything suspicious, I dropped hints, and at times I actually said “are we ever going to get married?!?!” Matt played it completely cool the entire time. He made jokes about us getting married in 10, 15, 20, 30 years. He had our friends laughing and going on with his bit. It was all in true Matt fashion, and I didn’t mind it one bit. I never got scared or began to think that he didn’t want to marry me. I just knew that he wanted it to be a surprise, and that he wanted to do it in his own way. At times I even brought up the idea of just deciding to get married. Having a conversation and making it official. No big proposal, no ring, just two people deciding to make their commitment to each other public, with a wedding. Matt was not up for this. He wanted to do all of the things that you’ll read about in his proposal story, and I have to admit that it all makes me feel very special and very loved.
I’ve never really been into birthdays. I like doing special things for other people on their birthdays, but when mine rolls around I’ve always just enjoyed doing regular things with the people that I love. This year was no different. Matt and I both had busy workdays, and had made a plan to make blueberry pancakes for dinner, watch Freaks and Geeks, and call it a night. I had a really great day from start to finish. I shared a nice breakfast at school, had fun with my students, went to an end of the year dinner with my awesome coworkers, (where one of our topics of conversation happened to be weddings?!? So weird) and received wonderful birthday wishes from friends and family all day. As I drove home I remember thinking about how lucky I am to be living such an amazing life.
When I got home Matt was standing in the kitchen waiting for me. We went about our normal post work routine of talking and laughing about the details of our days. After about a half an hour, Matt announced that it was time for presents, and I took a seat on the futon (we had been planning on buying a new couch this summer to replace this old gross futon, but now I’m not sure that I can part with it). Matt presented me with the world’s coolest Parks and Rec poster, and a beautiful new Jcrew bag. As he was giving me these gifts, I began to notice that he was not only sitting in the strangest most contorted fashion, but that his voice was shaking. Why is he nervous to give me these gifts that he knows I’ll love? Is he sick? Does he have a sore throat? Is he upset with me about something? I was so confused. I can honestly say that Matt is the most confident person I know, and he certainly never gets nervous around me. Before I had much time to think about it, or to ask him what was wrong, I made my way to the last gift bag. I pulled the single Hershey’s kiss (see his story for the secret meaning) out of the bag. Within the span of about two seconds I had a thought process that went something like “aw that’s so sweet…he’s reminding me of how we first started dating…it’s not our anniversary…it’s my birthday… you give a girl a piece of candy and… OHHHHHHHH DEAR GOD.” I’ll never forget the look in his face, and the way his voice sounded as he got down on one knee in the living room of the home we built together, and asked me to marry him. It was perfect. As soon as I saw the ring I knew that it was my great grandmother’s, so I knew that Matt had talked to my parents. Two factors that made things even more special. What followed was the most bizarre and surreal emotional experience of my life. It started with a burst of happy tears that ended up lasting for a very long time. Next I began to feel like I was actually glowing, as if being this happy might actually result in light pouring out of my skin. After that I felt so full of excitement and energy that I could have probably ran a marathon. Finally, I felt hungry. We ate those blueberry pancakes, watched Freaks and Geeks, and attempted to actually fall asleep. It was definitely the best day of my young life. In the week and a half that has followed, we have felt so much love and support from our friends and family. It feels so good to know that the people we love are happy about this step we are taking, and are excited to come along for the ride. Although I am thrilled to be going through this entire process with Matt, I know that the promise to share our lives together was made long ago, and commitments of the heart are the most important kind.
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