Photos From The Engagement Party

Our engagement party was last month, and that meant a gathering of the families and (most of) the bridal party. It was sort of an early small scale taste of what the wedding will be like. And it was super. As we hope you can tell, we all had a great time. 

Thanks to our friend Casey Catelli for the photos.

Date and Venue

Hello! We're back with some exciting wedding news after a long hiatus. When we first got engaged, I couldn't focus on, talk about, or even think about anything other than our wedding. Well, I am just as excited to marry Matt as I was then, we've just been so busy living our lives and doing our jobs that the enchantments have been somewhat lifted, and our lives go on as normal. I find that for us, the planning of our wedding comes in waves. There are weeks when it is our main focus, and others where one of us will look at the other and say, "I can't possibly talk about the wedding right now." That being said, it really hasn't been very stressful so far, and things are going well. So well in fact, that I am pleased and excited to officially record the date and place of our wedding on our official/unofficial all things Matt and Kirby internet archive.

I'd like to start with a little background information on how we decided to get married in the fall. Matt's sister/my dear friend Anna graduated from college about a month or two before we got engaged. Her post-graduation plans were to move to England, and work and live at a school for people with special needs. I, of course, was thrilled by this choice, and so excited that Anna was pursuing the work (in a much braver way) that I have dedicated myself to. Her plans were originally to live and work at this school for 11 months, bringing her back to the states midsummer 2012. Although, she loves it so much that now I'm not sure if she'll ever return to us for good! Matt and I would never dream of getting married without her, so fall 2012 quickly became the agreed upon time. I couldn't be happier with this choice. I mean, what in the world is better than a beautiful fall day?

With the roundabout time chosen, we set off in search of a beautiful and rustic venue where we could have an outdoor ceremony and an indoor reception. With both sets of parents and Matt's sister Rebecca by our sides, we visited three beautiful venues. Two of them called out to us in a big way, and we had a somewhat difficult time deciding between them. Many repetitive conversations, pro-con lists, and sleepless nights later, we decided on the Laurita Winery in New Egypt, NJ, and we haven't looked back since. Laurita  is just 30 minutes from Toms River, but it is such a tucked away little gem that while you're there, you feel like you could be anywhere. After reviewing their open dates, we decided upon October 5th. It's a Friday, and the ceremony will begin at 7:00 pm. I have had many daydreams of walking towards Matt with a setting sun and slightly yellowed vineyard behind him. I'm ready!

Here are some pictures that we snapped on our iPhones last weekend when we visited Laurita for brunch and some exploring. You'll also find a picture of the perfect little inn that we will be staying at with our parents and bridal party the night before and the night of the wedding.

Best Man

 

Who is your best man?

Ian Everett. My cousin and best friend of 24 years and counting.

How did you meet him?

I like to think think Ian and I became best friends the same day we became cousins. Which was the day I was born. Being born so few weeks apart, and our mothers being sisters, it wasn't a guarantee that we would become best friends, but I guess the cards were in our favor. I'm lucky to say I don't know a life without him. "Matt and Ian" was the very first "Matt and____" there ever was, and that's incredibly special to me. I have to remember that a friendship like ours doesn't come stock for everyone. The fact that I was given a best friend upon arriving on earth (that sounds so alien-esque) is something I will forever cherish.

What is one of your fondest memories together?

With a literal lifetime of fond memories together it's impossible to pick the fondest. So I doubt this is my actual number one, but this memory sticks out to me...
The summer before we started high school, Ian and I decided to start playing instruments with the intent of starting a band immediately. Which we did. He bought a bass and I bought a guitar and we formed a band with his younger brother on a make shift drum set consisting of a large purple tupperware bin for a bass drum and a stool for a high hat. It wasn't a real band...but God knows we took enough promo pictures for it to be one. This was some of the most fun I've had in my life. But as the time went on, and we tried to take being in a band a little more seriously, we hooked up with Chris Stillitano, a real drummer with a real drum set, and we became a little more legitimate. We practiced as often as we could, and wrote dozens of songs ranging from weird to awful, but again, some of the most fun I've ever had. The time finally came for us to play our first show. We were to play at Ian's sister's birthday party in their basement. Having an overabundance of ideas for cool things for bands to do at live shows, we decided we wanted to dress up. How we landed on this idea, I'll never remember, but we decided for the 3 of us to wear khaki pants and black t shirts. Crazy, right? But there's more... on the first song we were going to wear puffy winter coats and beanies. Boom, perfect idea. So the night of the show we gathered in a side room of the basement, which we considered to be a "backstage" and promptly named "The Underground Amp Center." An audience of a dozen middle school and high school girls were out in the main area waiting for us to come out so they could politely sit through an hour of music I guarantee none of them wanted to hear. This was the first time I'd ever played music in front of anyone that wasn't a friend...and even though the group was incredibly small, it was pretty terrifying and I was irrationally afraid to do this. So there we stood, next to old board games, each of us wearing a puffy winter jacket and hat. Except for Chris, who was wearing a wig. (He "forgot" to bring a coat and beanie, which was definitely because he was the only one of us with the slightest bit of clarity as to how dumb this idea was.) The only trace of confidence in me at that moment was that I was about to face this unnerving experience with Ian standing next to me. No matter what happened we were doing it together, and that made it possible.
That backdrop has changed many times over, but the confidence I feel knowing that Ian is by my side, whether that be physically, emotionally, or otherwise, has never changed. Knowing that he is in my corner has allowed me live my life in a way I wouldn't have been able to without him. Feels amazing, man.

Name some of his favorite things.
1. Basketball
2. Beer
3. Shredding on the guitar
4. Freaks and Geeks
5. Motorcycles
6. Dogs
7. Painting
8. This video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xIYVw3ZPJk
9. Completely changing the way he looks
10. The 72-10 Bulls.

Name some of his least favorite things.

1. Kobe Bryant & The Lakers

2. Tim Duncan
3. Magellan
4. Ovadubs
5. Singing his name on anything
6. Goatees
7. Tweaking mod knobs
8. Waking up
9. Talking about himself
10. The Steve Wilkos Show

Why did you choose him as your best man?

This was determined long before I was engaged, before I started dating Kirby, before I even knew what a best man was. He so perfectly fits the role of what a best man is, it would be criminal to choose anyone else.

Maid of Honor

Who is your maid of honor?

My maid of honor is the young and beautiful Jaclyn Marie Devine. Jack has been my best friend for a very long time, and I love her unconditionally.  She is a teacher, writer, reader, animal lover, octopus obsessed, blonde haired babe who knows how to have a good time. Whether it be over a pound of fried food at friendly’s, or a day by the pool, (probably playing dolphin trainer) the time we spend together is always super special.

How did you meet her?

Jack and I met in the second grade. We weren’t in the same class, but our older brothers were, and they were quickly becoming best friends. Because of this, we began to exchange friendly hellos in the hallways or on the playground. Now that I think about it, we never actually spent much time together until our fourth grade chorus concert where we were placed next to each other. I have some hazy memories of fooling around in line right before we got onto stage. The theme of the show was Disney, and I know for sure that one of us was wearing Mickey Mouse overalls. In fifth grade, we were finally placed in the same class, and the rest is history. The remainder of elementary school was spent passing notes, taking dance classes, walking to 711 for slurpees and fun dip, making up songs, talking about boys, swimming, photo shoots, sleepovers, and our fair of share girl fights. Throughout high school our friendship evolved as we shared new experiences together. There was a (not so) short period where we spent a lot of time eating Taco Bell, watching Mean Girls, and dancing to Fergie songs in the car. Soon our friendship was put to the ultimate test as we started a two-year stint as roommates in college. Not only did we survive a situation that everyone knows can put an abrupt and painful end to many relationships, but we had a lot of fun along the way and came out the other end with an even stronger bond.  On top of living together for those two years, we also had nearly identical schedules, as we shared the exact same majors. Being in class with Jack was the best, and some of our funniest memories (dlc- life coach) come from this time. Now that college is over and we are both trying to get our lives started in the real world, her friendship is absolutely essential to me! This is actually more of a timeline of our entire relationship, rather than the story of how we met. Oops!

What is one of your fondest memories together?

I need to share two memories. The first one isn’t fond at all, it actually stinks, but whenever I look back on it I am reminded of what a good friend Jack has always been to me. In sixth grade Jack and I put together a dance for our school’s talent show. We took dance classes together, and were always making up dances on our free time, so we were really excited to show off our skills in front of all of our peers. We practiced for weeks, slept in curlers the night before, and tried to scrounge up something resembling matching costumes. The big day arrived, and as the talent show was approaching, an evil migraine began to settle in. Migraines dictated my life when I was a kid. Whenever I was overly excited, nervous, or anxious, a crippling migraine would take over. These migraines ruined everything from holidays to class trips, and of course one had to ruin our big performance in the talent show. We got through about one fourth of the routine before I whispered to Jack between moves that I was going to throw up, and we had to end the dance. She looked at me not with a face of disappointment, but with an expression that said “we are going to get you off this stage before you puke, and without getting you humiliated.” She quickly whispered to me “last 8 counts!” And with that we skipped to the last few moves of our dance, struck our final pose, and ran off into the wings. Jack ran ahead of me and swung open the door to the bathroom, and then the door to the first stall… but I didn’t make it. I threw up all over the floor of the girl’s bathroom before I finally made it to a toilet. Jack held my hair back until my mom came running in, and then she proceeded to clean my puke up off the floor. Gross story, I know. But Jack wasn’t mad at me for ruining our performance, and my disgusting scene didn’t gross her out. A situation like that could have been a painful memory, but instead I only look back on it as an example of what a great friend Jack is. Her main priority was to take care of me, and for that reason alone I will always love her.

My second memory is one night in our second year living together in college, where we ran around our apartment late at night taking the world’s worst pictures of each other. Some of my favorites include us trying to hold all of the cooking spices we owned at once, glass puppies coming out of Jack’s nose, and some acts of violence involving the showerhead. We named the album “kreeps in hats.”

Name some of her favorite things.
1. The Jets
2. Harry Potter
3. Emile Hirsch
4. Octopuses
5. Soda
6. Shopping
7. The beach
8. Hayley Williams
9. Her dogs
10. Salmon

Name some of her least favorite things.
1. ET
2. Bad drivers
3. Surgery
4. Being cold
5. Running out of conditioner
6. When people write her name as “Jackie” instead of “Jacki”
7. When I don’t send her pictures we’ve taken together even though she asked me a hundred times.
8. Being super full
9. When shoes she loves don’t fit her because of her baby heels.
10. Stink bugs

Why did you choose her as your maid of honor?

Choosing Jack as my maid of honor was a no-brainer. She is my best friend, and she has been my best friend since long before Matt came into my life. She knows about my hardest times, my biggest fears, and my most embarrassing moments. Most of all, she knows my heart. Jack has never wanted me to be different or looked down on me for my sometimes-questionable choices. Not being my friend, even if I’m being world’s biggest jerky idiot, has never been an option for her. She’s my friend no matter what I’m going through, or how I’m acting, and I feel that. Most importantly, she has always been supportive of my relationship with Matt. Always. Knowing that she will be standing behind me as I marry Matt makes the experience even more special. I love you Jack. Oh, and also because she is just really super fun to be with. That’s important too. Now please excuse me, I cut my foot earlier and my shoe is filling up with blood.   

The Proposal pt. 2

I will try my very best to write this story without being painfully repetitive, or outrageously mushy.

Before becoming engaged, Matt and I had been dating for just over five and a half years, and I know that I can speak for both of us in saying that we’d known from the start that we wanted to be together forever. I can’t recall when we first talked about marriage, but I’m pretty sure it was within our first year together.  Our plan had always been that when we had both found the jobs that we wanted, and were able to afford a place to live together, and pay all of our bills, that that would be the time.

The last piece of that very difficult and confusing puzzle fell into place on August 24^th 2010, when I got my teaching job.  Matt and I were so excited to be doing what we loved, successfully making a home in our little apartment, paying bills, saving some money, and doing it all as a team.  I have to admit, that after the initial shock and excitement of actually getting a job had (very slightly) worn off, I began considering the fact that Matt might actually propose to me. All of our initial goals had been reached, and the criteria had been met. We were two self-sufficient adults, very much in love, and not at all afraid of commitment. So, ever since September the thought of becoming engaged had been rattling around in my head. I tried to keep my eyes open for anything suspicious, I dropped hints, and at times I actually said “are we ever going to get married?!?!” Matt played it completely cool the entire time. He made jokes about us getting married in 10, 15, 20, 30 years. He had our friends laughing and going on with his bit. It was all in true Matt fashion, and I didn’t mind it one bit. I never got scared or began to think that he didn’t want to marry me. I just knew that he wanted it to be a surprise, and that he wanted to do it in his own way. At times I even brought up the idea of just deciding to get married. Having a conversation and making it official. No big proposal, no ring, just two people deciding to make their commitment to each other public, with a wedding. Matt was not up for this. He wanted to do all of the things that you’ll read about in his proposal story, and I have to admit that it all makes me feel very special and very loved.

I’ve never really been into birthdays. I like doing special things for other people on their birthdays, but when mine rolls around I’ve always just enjoyed doing regular things with the people that I love. This year was no different. Matt and I both had busy workdays, and had made a plan to make blueberry pancakes for dinner, watch Freaks and Geeks, and call it a night. I had a really great day from start to finish. I shared a nice breakfast at school, had fun with my students, went to an end of the year dinner with my awesome coworkers, (where one of our topics of conversation happened to be weddings?!? So weird) and received wonderful birthday wishes from friends and family all day. As I drove home I remember thinking about how lucky I am to be living such an amazing life.

When I got home Matt was standing in the kitchen waiting for me. We went about our normal post work routine of talking and laughing about the details of our days. After about a half an hour, Matt announced that it was time for presents, and I took a seat on the futon (we had been planning on buying a new couch this summer to replace this old gross futon, but now I’m not sure that I can part with it). Matt presented me with the world’s coolest Parks and Rec poster, and a beautiful new Jcrew bag. As he was giving me these gifts, I began to notice that he was not only sitting in the strangest most contorted fashion, but that his voice was shaking. Why is he nervous to give me these gifts that he knows I’ll love? Is he sick? Does he have a sore throat? Is he upset with me about something? I was so confused. I can honestly say that Matt is the most confident person I know, and he certainly never gets nervous around me. Before I had much time to think about it, or to ask him what was wrong, I made my way to the last gift bag. I pulled the single Hershey’s kiss (see his story for the secret meaning) out of the bag. Within the span of about two seconds I had a thought process that went something like “aw that’s so sweet…he’s reminding me of how we first started dating…it’s not our anniversary…it’s my birthday… you give a girl a piece of candy and… OHHHHHHHH DEAR GOD.” I’ll never forget the look in his face, and the way his voice sounded as he got down on one knee in the living room of the home we built together, and asked me to marry him. It was perfect. As soon as I saw the ring I knew that it was my great grandmother’s, so I knew that Matt had talked to my parents. Two factors that made things even more special. What followed was the most bizarre and surreal emotional experience of my life. It started with a burst of happy tears that ended up lasting for a very long time. Next I began to feel like I was actually glowing, as if being this happy might actually result in light pouring out of my skin. After that I felt so full of excitement and energy that I could have probably ran a marathon. Finally, I felt hungry. We ate those blueberry pancakes, watched Freaks and Geeks, and attempted to actually fall asleep. It was definitely the best day of my young life. In the week and a half that has followed, we have felt so much love and support from our friends and family. It feels so good to know that the people we love are happy about this step we are taking, and are excited to come along for the ride. Although I am thrilled to be going through this entire process with Matt, I know that the promise to share our lives together was made long ago, and commitments of the heart are the most important kind.

The Proposal pt. 1

"When we get married, can we start a blog to document everything?" she asked me. "I don't know.... will blogs still be relevant in ten years?"
This was our little joke. She would playfully propose the idea of engagement and marriage and I would push it away by suggesting it would happen much, MUCH later. But the truth was that I wanted it to happen just as much as she did, and there were just a few obstacles in my way of speeding that up and making it actually happen. Mainly, obtaining a ring...

Because of my lack of knowledge of pretty much anything wedding related, I asked my cousin, best friend, and future best man, Ian, to help me with this task. Due to our conflicting schedules, there was one day in our upcoming weeks that was going to work for us. Great news. However, now I was faced with one of the one of the most nerve wracking things I could imagine. Calling her parents, and asking for permission...

Is this old fashioned? It might be. But you only get married once, and I didn't want to miss out on any of the classic wedding or engagement stuff. Plus, I really do feel like it is the polite, thoughtful and respectful thing to do. I''ll include that in my book of wedding memoirs for sure. So, after an afternoon of being pumped up by my dear friend Mike via instant messenger as we ended our day at work, he convinced me to call her parents. I thought about doing it on the ride home, but the closer I got to dialing, the more nervous I got and the more I convinced myself it would be better once I was actually home. Kirby was working late at school, so I had some free time, but it had to be that day, every other day she is home before I am. I poured a medium sized glass of water and drank the whole thing to regain some function to my closing throat. I psyched myself up as best as possible and nervously called her Dad's cell phone. I had not a trace of fear they would say anything but an excited "yes," but that meant nothing, I was still terrified. Several rings go by, and eventually it goes to voice mail. Can you ask to marry a man's daughter via voicemail? Thank god I answered that question quickly and correctly and I hung up in time. But now I had lost my adrenaline, and was nervously wondering what to do. As I paced my cell phone starts ringing and it was her Dad. Great, now I have to answer and I'm completely unprepared. It was the biggest "Here goes nothing moment" of my life...

"Matt Who?" Potentially the worst possible way to start this conversation, but here I was. Trying to explain my identity to my girlfriend's father who I've known well for over 5 years. As it turned out, because I called him on his work phone, he was mistaking me for a Matt he worked with...which there were none. Scott, if you're reading this, I understand and I do not feel bad about this at all. Really! After we got past that, I asked him what I had called to ask in what had to have been a very uncool and very skittish voice, to which I heard him say to his wife "Kim, Matt's asking if he can marry Kirby," and then I heard a yell, and knew it was all okay...

Turning out to be my luckiest moment of this process, Kim had told me she had a ring she would like to give me to give to Kirby. It was her grandmother's, and a ring Kirby had admired since she was a child. Perfect wouldn't even be a just enough word. We were planning to go visit both of our parents that next weekend, and she told me she would have it ready for me. When that day came, she casually slipped it into my pocket as I entered her house. The ring began day one of a very high-strung two weeks in my possession...

I hid the ring in the back of my sock drawer. Another classic engagement cliche I was not about to miss out on. I checked on it every day before I left for work to make sure it was still there and to take a look at the soon to be symbol of my love and commitment to Kirby. It was exciting and scary that something so small held so much meaning...and was just sitting (albeit in a box) next to my old dress socks. The sooner I could get this out off there and onto her finger, the better. So I began to wrack my mind for the right way to propose. This was something that I would be asked about forever, and naturally, I wanted to make it special. I also wanted it to be something shocking, and something to catch her off guard. I wasn't going to surprise her in the fact that I was asking her to marry me, but how I did it, and when I did it were going to be what surprised her. It seemed to be just in the nick of time that I realized how I wanted to do it...

Before we started dating, I had gone to babysit her cousins with her. While talking to the youngest, Logan, who had to have been in preschool at the time, he told us that he had a lot of girlfriends in school. "Well, how do you get a girlfriend?" Kirby asked. "You give them a piece of candy and ask them to marry you." Of course, right? One night shortly after that, I gave her a Hershey's kiss and asked her to marry me, and that's how she became my girlfriend. Thanks Logan, you have no idea how insightful you really were...

(Screen cap of what I tweeted minutes before the proposal.)

June 16, 2011, Kirby turns 24. I sit next to her on our couch. I know she can tell I'm nervous, and she's wondering why I'm nervous to give her her birthday presents. I sort of wonder the same thing. She opens two gifts that result in standard gift giving and receiving procedures. I try to explain the gifts with a mouth made of actual cotton. She reaches for the third bag, a gift bag doubling the others in size. She digs through the wrapping paper, which I have to stop her and tell her the gift is inside the wrapping paper. She unfolds the first clump to reveal a single Hershey's kiss. I begin to see her mind crank the gears and piece together what's happening. In the least smooth, least cool possible way, I take the ring box from my pocket and make my way down to one knee. I open the box, reveal the ring and am able to get the words "Kirby...will you marry me?" out of my mouth just in time before my emotions get the best of me. Hers had already gotten to her, and at this point it was just a lot of crying. It should come as no plot twist that she said yes, and with that I successfully pulled off a proposal. Guys, don't worry about being cool doing this, if you're doing it right, you'll barely be able to do it.

And that brings us to where we are now. A young, very newly engaged couple, incredibly excited to plan our wedding, but even more excited to spend our lives together...

The First

Hello friends, family, and strangers. Matt and I have decided to start, and hopefully keep up with, a blog dedicated to our life together. More specifically, to document the ideas, stress, stories, and adventures that come about when two young people (us) become engaged, plan a wedding, and ultimately get married. Being engaged for 11 very short days, we are already filled with excitement about the entire process. We're sharing ideas, making a guest list, reading blogs, researching venues, and quickly realizing that this wedding is going to come and go faster than we can imagine. This being the case, we wanted to make something that we could look back on when all of this craziness is over, and we are happily married (which is what we are most excited for).

Below you will find a picture of Matt and me shortly after we started dating in 2005. Under that are two photos of us from just a few days ago.